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KILL THE RIVAL: A Commentary on Intrasexual Envy in Women in the Music Industry

Jade Nye

 It is a loaded word: envy. We are made to understand it from a young age; to expect it. The wicked queen realises she is not the fairest and gives Snow White the poison apple. The step-sisters forbid Cinderella from the ball. It's a familiar story. In Australia, what we know as "Tall Poppy Syndrome" underplays our society's insidious habit of finding fault in those who are successful. It's a cute name for a more frightening beast.

At present, it strikes a particular chord for me. Having just been fired from my all-girl band in what was a tumultuous conclusion to say the least, it's found its way to the forefront of my mind. The band had just reached a turning point; the gigs were coming in hard and fast, the members were playing in peak form and with original recordings on the horizon, the band had begun its trajectory to success. It was quite a sudden switch when amongst this began the airing of many resentments that left me in the fray. Crestfallen, I turned to my friends, family and colleagues for guidance.

While I can only speculate the reasons behind my ex-bandmates' decision, what truly alerted me to the presence of envy in our culture was the reactions of people around me. The comments of "they are only jealous" and, the even more diminutive, "women are always jealous, make your next band all men" came often, and left a sour taste rather than healing any wounds. It's from here that I recognised that our perception of women, particularly in the music industry, is not as progressive as we believe. I am also made to question if this jealousy does truly exist, and, if so, who is most to blame.

Intrasexual competition, or rivalry between those of the same sex, is not a new condition, nor a condition exclusive to our species. It's present in the mating warfare of peacocks through primates when striving for reproductive favour. In humans, it manifests differently, as we vie for attention, accolades and finance in our social and workplace politics. We want to feel beautiful, young, strong, powerful, intelligent, skilled and supported to appease our self-esteem, and when someone affirms our insecurities that we are not this by personifying what we believe we lack, we take on the envy. And hence Snow White is fed the poison apple.

In the music industry, I feel this is tenfold. Artists are asked to behave larger than life and in return receive a taste of celebrity. In women this is further complicated, as we are so often in visually-consumed. Go to the nearest mall and count the posters of flawless gargantuan models lining the walls from floor to ceiling. On the stage, then, we become doubly exposed, revealing the darkest parts of ourselves through art while being picked apart for each hair out of place; each slight drop of a smile that could be read as 'undesirable'. With all this it's no wonder that envy lurks in the industry. We think "if she is better looking that me; younger than me; faster than me, then she will be approved of, and I, subsequently rejected".

Furthermore for independent artists, the performer doubles as the negotiator, and must present as assertive and firm, but not so much so to be deemed intimidating. Here we must function in the "masculine role", using qualities that counter the "feminine wiles" used in performance in order to be taken seriously. We channel our aggression into making the business deals, but cannot let it slip into other facets of life. It's enough to make anyone jaded.

And so we come to a perfect storm for women in music. Undigested rage, only let off the leash in the critical moment, seething beneath a desperation for acceptance in a world of skeptical, hungry eyes. How could it be worse? Enter the rival. She is perfect, pure and naïve. You cannot kill the system; its roots run too deep, so there's only one other option. Kill the rival.

I cannot claim innocence here, either. I can't deny that when I see an admired pop star it sparks a competitiveness within me. A sinister voice tells me their success is piloted by mediocre song-writing and financial opportunity, in spite of the fact I may actually enjoy their music. My cultural conditioning forces me to convince myself that the pop artist's music isn't worth enjoying, so I deconstruct their craft to keep my self-esteem in tact, as they represent the praise I wish I had. Whether I was subconsciously guilty of doing this in the band is hard to recall, but the fact that this shadow is present within me at all is frightening in itself, and means it could exist in many women.

Not to mention whether completely eradicating envy within women is even worthwhile. Men have permission to express jealousy all the time, in corporate flexing to bar fights; just because it manifests more physically does not mean that it should be disregarded. Meanwhile, women are classified as either complacent or "psychotic" based on how they conduct their jealousy, in both relationships and in the workforce. Our expectation of women to be single-faceted, either good or bad, may be what drives the culture to fall into fairytale archetypes to begin with. Choose to be the begrudged wicked witch or the virginal princess. In that way, we have not much choice but to concede to the trope of the jealous woman, or keep our emotions hidden for another day. Regardless, without significant societal shift, envy is here to stay.

How then should we proceed? Is there truly no solution? Well, no. And yes. Often when it comes to issues like this, where our ingrained prejudices around women require such a significant change, it can feel although it is too unachievable to repair, however I feel differently. My exit from the band has left me more time to reflect, and my outlook is more hopeful. I believe the first step towards healing the damage caused by intrasexual envy is to recognise it. By starting a conversation around our expectation of jealousy in women, it ceases to live in the shadows of our consciousness, and maybe will help us to deconstruct the causes within the music industry that lurk beneath. Then, rather than killing the rival, we support her success with grace.